Life's Reset Button

I don't know if anyone's ever told you, or if you've ever thought the same thing at some point, but life can be very, very frustrating, difficult and confusing at times.

I'm not looking for pity, but I've struggled recently. I feel kind of lost. Not that I don't have anything to do, because I'm plenty busy, but just lost amongst everything. There's so much on my mind at the moment and I think at the forefront of it all is God.

Anyone who knows me knows what I believe. I'd rather call myself a follower of Christ than Christian but the latter is easier to use in conversation so I'll run with that for the sake of typing. I remember being asked when I was a bit younger whether being a Christian makes life easier or harder. I don't think there's a definitive answer. But at the moment, it seems so complicated.

I'm sure I'm not the first or last to have what I call a 'pagan point', that point in time where you just have no desire to follow what you believe. But I have most definitely had one recently, and am probably still in one if I think about it. I want to know where I fit into my youth group, my church, God's plan for everything. In the past, I've found that God sometimes pulls away - keeps himself at a distance, for example - in order for us to be tested. How we respond is up to us. Maybe I'm going through one of those points at the moment.

It seems like I can't even get the motivation to do the small stuff right. I haven't read my bible or been to church on a Sunday night recently because I just feel like I don't want to be around something I don't understand when everyone else seems to be getting it, even though they're probably struggling with their own stuff too.

The thing is, I WANT to want it. I want to feel that enthusiasm and have the desire to go to church and help the kids at youth and invest in their lives, or be a conduit for God to move in them. But I just feel confused instead, and conflicted. I need God to rescue me, and soon, because I don't have the strength in me to do it alone. I'm not enough to save myself.

I'm searching for that moment, God, if you're listening - I could use a hand if you've got one spare.

And the winner is...

"The Swan", with six occurrences during my two week trip through various parts of England!

A few posts back I said that I'd write down the names of various pubs, country houses etc in order to find the most popular name. And lo and behold, that I did! Here are some of the most popular names:

The Swan: 6
The White Lion: 4
The Royal Oak: 4
The White Horse: 2
The Pack Horse: 2
The Black Horse: 2
The Bay Horse: 2
The Crown: 2
The Rose and Crown: 2

And here are some of the more interesting:

The Lord Moon of the Mall
The Spread Eagle
The Akbar (I kid you not!)
The Craven Heifer
Fanny's Ale House
Don't Tell Titus

During our many car rides through the country, I wrote down a few notes on stuff:

My dad says 'it's a nice little town is this' a LOT. Like, so many times. Every time we entered a small town. England is full of 'nice little towns'. Apparently.

I want to be eighty years old and still drink chocolate milk because that's pretty badass.

What's in the middle of West Ham and East Ham? Just Ham? Is it a Ham sandwich? AHAHAHAH moving on.

England has these things called 'services' which are basically petrol stations and a few restaurants on the side of the motorways every now and again. While driving down towards London from Lancashire, we went past one particular services with a sex shop right next to it. Was strange. Why do you need to stop at an adult store on your trip down the motorway?

I am most definitely a city person and not a country one. I'd love to live in London one day.

I had pancakes one morning. I described them as 'a reservoir of maple syrup'.

Waiters would make good motorbike riders because of the way they turn (like they lean into corners and stuff).

That's all I got. Be back with another video next week. Possibly a humorous blog entry sooner!

-Adam

#04: London Calling

So I went overseas a few weeks back, here's the resulting blog!

I guess I should probably update people on my progress on the Project, which is really what this blog should be about in the first place (and not really my bad attempts at comedy). So here's a few progress reports:

#2: Motorcycle Licence. I'm three lessons in now and it'll probably be another two to four before I can go for my test but I'm enjoying it and very much looking forward to getting my actual licence and being able to ride around. It's a fun feeling riding around on your own with the wind in your face and all that.

#7: Be Cultural. Inadvertantly, while going to England/Spain etc, I actually went to see a game of sport AND a concert! First off was watching Barcelona vs. Atletico Bilbao at Camp Nou in Barca central:

And then went to go watch Lifehouse at the Roundhouse in London:

So yeah. Approaching completion of this one!

#10: Important Books. Have finished the first two of the Hitchiker's Guide series and the first Lord of the Rings, almost finished How To Win Friends and Influence People. I feel inspired and whatnot.

#12: Photo Challenge. Must increase photo taking to more than one a day! Slackness has caused this one but there will be 365 photos, I guarantee it!

#13: Indian Pacific. I booked my ticket and leave on April 10! Yeah!

#14: Charity. I do the Freeway Bike Hike next week! Need to get fit asap.

PROGRESS! I has it.

So yeah. Keep following, more regular updates are returning.